.invites. .rsvps. .and headaches.

I’ve already heard tons of horror stories on guest lists and RSVPs…. And thought that, for some reason, we would be exempt from any drama. Ummm…no! Our final invites were sent out in two rounds: the first round went out in January for our OOT guests. The second round went out in February for our in-town guests and for our family who has already told us that they would be coming to the wedding (some even booked rooms already!)

With two or three days left until the RSVP deadline, we were still missing almost half of the replies! So between my FMIL, Mr. Nearlywed, my mother and I, we had to make a ton of phone calls. Some people never even answered our phone calls and some said yes they will come and some, although they turned in their RSVP with a Yes or a No, some have already called to change their mind.

PEOPLE! This isn’t a carnival. This is an expensive event, where we are paying for each and every one of you to be there with us. If you RSVP no and then say yes, we are short. If you RSVP yes and then change your mind, we have already paid for you and it is rude. If you are family and have not responded to any one of the three phone calls that we’ve made, then it is rude. There, if I could say that to everyone, I would be so much happier.

I have to admit, I am really panicked about the guest list, STILL. Although we’ve written off the non responders and have heard from most people, I’d be lying if I said that the list makes me comfortable.

.sticking with some tradition.

I am marrying a wonderful Filipino guy. I am a full blooded mutt mix of Polish, Czech and Greek…. The only thing that our cultures have in common in being Catholic and The Money Dance. My future mother in law explained the role of “Sponsors” to us and we tossed the idea around for a while on whether or not we would like to have any.

Since we aren’t having a traditional Catholic wedding, we weren’t sure if we should move forward with this tradition or not, but in the end, we decided to go for it. We have two sets of couples here, in Vegas, whom we look up to, respect and are happily married for years and years.

We, unfortunately, had to ask our couples via phone because we were unable to get together with them, but no matter how we asked them, they were thrilled and honored that we asked them to do this.

Well, apparently we didn’t research their roles well enough because they asked us what we wanted for them to do and we were clueless. We aren’t doing a unity candle, cord & veil or coin ceremony. So in the end, we designed them as “Primary Sponsors”, which was described as such:

The Principal Sponsors (aka Ninang and Ninong): These are women and men whom the bride and groom respect & admire. They are, as in the early days of the Church, sponsors of the couple attesting to their readiness for marriage and freedom to marry. These are often aunts and uncles or close friends of the family. In the Philippines, they are the official witnesses of the state and they sign the marriage license. Worldwide, their participation is symbolic of the wisdom & support they shall offer the new couple. The number of sponsors can vary from a single couple to many couples. The Principal sponsors are part of the bridal procession. At the nuptial blessing, they may also be invited to come up with the celebrant and to extend their right hands to join in the prayer of blessing. In doing so, they are fulfilling their roles as sponsors.

We will acknowledge them during the ceremony and then have them enter during the reception. There- a compromise on traditions.

.and then there were shoes.

Whew… getting my shoes was a struggle, without any exaggeration. I first took them to a reputable store, which I’ve heard was expensive, but come on…how expensive can it REALLY be?

Well, here is how my conversation unfolded at store #1:

Me: Hi. I’d like to get this pair of shoes dyed to match this fabric swatch. And can you fix the heel on the inside, they flop off.
Guy at the store: Ok, sure we can dye them. That will be eight each. And the heel, well they will have to rip it apart and reconstruct it.
Me: No thank you. Ok, can you also dye this other pair to match this other fabric swatch?
Guy at the store: Sure, (taps calculator)…. That will be One hundred sixty dollars.
Me: HUH? (Look of shock and fright on my face) I thought that you said, “EIGHT EACH?!?!?”
Guy at the store: No, I said EIGHTY.
Me: Grabs shoe boxes and everything and runs out the door, saying, “no thank you.”

When I was in high school, dyeables were all the rage for proms and homecoming. Taking them to Thom McCann and having them dyed cost all of maybe $12 back in the day?? And now you want to charge me $80? To be honest, that is more than I paid for each pair of shoes.

So I use the Google and find another place. When I show up, to say that I was shocked at the goods for sale in this establishment would be an understatement. On the left side, they sold hookah pipes, in the middle they sold handbags and shoes, in a display case, on the right; they made keys and fixed shoes. When I presented the store owner with my swatches, he was kind enough to test out the colors on some fabric. The green was a no brainer; it was the purple that frightened me. I really wanted something dark for my reception dress…. So I left the green shoes, walked out with the purple shoes for another week.

Long story short, he dyed them both for $40 each and they look great! The colors look amazing and I am thrilled to have this checked off of my list!

.jackpot part 4.

When picking a bridal party, it is important to pick the people who you know have your back. While a bridesmaid doesn’t “technically” have to do anything other than show up to your wedding, there are some who fly to the moon and back for you. For my wedding, I was lucky enough to pick two Zillaz who would fly to outer space and back for me.

They are planning all pre-wedding activities with two others who each live 2,000+ miles away and are three hours ahead of us. They both have families, jobs and one is even back in school taking classes.

When it comes time to work out the details of a shower that is in disarray, they were ready willing and able to meet with me at a moment’s notice and work out the details. When I need someone to go shopping with me, they are available at any time, even if one starts the day with me and the other finishes with me. When I feel like the wedding world is against me, they both reassure me that everything will come together, everything will be fine and I will be beautiful.

When I express concerns about fitting into my dress, they offer to work out with me and if all else fails, rip off our insulin pumps and go rogue with me. Even though we won’t do it, I care that she cares. When I tweet about someone upsetting me or calling me a word that I have to look up on dictionary.com, they will immediately send an email, asking if everything is OK and offer their great advice, even if it is from a cartoon, “Smile and wave, boys. Smile and wave.”

They both cried when I asked them to be in my wedding and to stand up with me and watch me marry the love of my life. They both cried with me when I was shared with them what it felt like when I was diagnosed with diabetes and shared with them some very personal details of my struggle with my life and health. When I need a pick-me-up, it isn’t too far off to find a silly video posted on my facebook account or a request for a sushi date at our “first date spot.”

I know that these two Zillaz are friends for life because of what we’ve been through and what we will continue to experience together. I also know that we will be friends for ever because we have already crossed all of the bumps in the roads from brutally honest emails to just plain old not speaking to each other and look at us now…we all have matching slippers.

To K-Zilla and M-Zilla, thank you from the bottom of my Bride-Zilla heart for all that you have done for me, to me and bring to my life!

.the bad and the ugly.

Ok, yes, I am a blogging slacker… I get it. Let’s hope that this makes up for my slacking. As of today, we are 101 days away and it can’t get here quickly enough. I know that we should enjoy this special time, I won’t be a fiancé again and I won’t plan my wedding own wedding again (vow renewal, anyone?!?) but it is sucking the life out of me. For serious.

Lately, I am feeling defeated. This is the ugly side of wedding planning that I will share with you. Of all the blogs I read, this subject hasn’t come up often, but I am not the only bride who wants to just quit, go to the courthouse and get it done. If we didn’t already pay half of our event to our venue, that would be an option.

Planning a wedding could seriously be its own job and that is why there are wedding planners- it is their job. How many weddings a year do they plan? That is their fulltime job. Me? I have a full time job and am planning a wedding, so it is becoming a bit much.

While most of the details are worked out, there are logistics to handle. So… I will go ahead and post all of the things that aren’t going right, at this point.

1. The dress. I haven’t tried it on in months. SO it may fit. I haven’t lost any weight since it arrived, months ago. I’ve been working out like a fiend, which I am loving. (More on my workouts another time)
2. I need undergarments and furnishings for this dress that I am praying fits.
3. My shower, while I am VERY appreciative that anyone invests any amount of time or money into me, it has become chaotic. My sister is trying to plan it from 2,500 miles away. I have two Zillaz here who want to step in and help more. Maybe my sis wants to be a good sis and plan it all. But we ran into some snafu’s…
4. The invites weren’t done in time. So with 4 weeks until the shower, they weren’t approved or even created. I am not sure what happened and don’t want to know.
5. My wedding invites are going out now and I don’t want to crowd the mail box with a shower invite and a wedding invite. Nothing screams “GIFT” more than two invites in one day.
6. One Zilla replied to an email and CC’d me on it. It was the email with all of the shower details and a gift idea that the girls thought of for me. So of course, I read it…. I could have NOT read it. But I now I know everything.
7. Bachelorette party. A-Zilla has offered to help plan this since she is on modified bed rest. This is a GREAT thing…but then I feel badly when the cost of anything comes up. But it is part of being in a wedding; these are things that need to be paid for and not by the bride, right? I will have a stash of cash anyway.
8. My list keeps growing
9. One of the mothers still doesn’t have a dress. And when I offered to go shopping with her, she said that it was too early. Now she wants to go next month and I am slammed with work, wedding planning and staying healthy.
10. My health. In case you didn’t know, I am a Type 1 diabetic who has been doing a decent job of maintaining good blood sugar numbers. The wedding hasn’t been stressing me out too much. Well that is starting to change. My numbers are fluctuating all over the place. The other nite, I woke up with an extreme low. So even with the working out, the healthy eating, it is my life right now that is taking me all over the numbers map.

I’ve asked Mr. Nearlywed to help keep me as stress-free as possible over the next three months. Stress free and weddings don’t normally fit in the same sentence but we can see how it works out.

Ok, there ya have it. Weddings seem like fun, but they can be insane. And there is a piece of my insanity that I’ve shared with you.

.happy 2010.

Happy New Year! This is the year in which I will be married. Yippeeee! While it seems that it can’t get here fast enough, it is really right around the corner.

The planning is ho-hum, but not wanting to start the New Year with an ugly blog, I will focus on the good. The bad and ugly will come tomorrow.

With 103days until the wedding, we have:
1. Started our pre-marital sessions (another blog will elaborate!)
2. Are starting our dance lessons tonite. I am white. I can’t dance.
3. Our invites are going SOON! Yes, it is three months early, but we have a TON of OOT guests and they are getting their invites soon, it will also make for hunting down people for RSVPs a TON easier.
4. My shower is in one month.
5. Make up is booked, yay!
6. My candy buffet has been reconfirmed.
7. We are meeting with our vendors slowly and surely to wrap up details.
8. Next week I meet with someone about creating a head/hair piece for me!
9. Mr. Nearlywed and I are really working well together as a team
10. I AM GETTING MARRIED!

There are many more good things, but that is what is making me happy right now, while I am in the middle of wedding chaos. Again, that post is scheduled for tomorrow.

Yes, I still owe you more on flowers, our invites, our DJ and videographer…. Stay tuned.

I wish you ALL a HAPPY NEW YEAR! And Happy wedding year, a happy engagement year, a happy dating year, a happy year of being in your BFFs wedding because it means the world to her, trust me, I know this.

.2009 my best year yet.

When the countdown to 2009 began, it was like every other countdown 10…9…8… and then the clock struck midnight and the New Year started out normal and that lasted for about 18 seconds. Just enough time for a hug and a kiss to my boyfriend and my parents, who were there with us. And then, my boyfriend gave me a letter to read. While reading this letter, he was trying to gauge how far along I was so that he can time his proposal correctly. Yes, it was the moment I had been waiting 50 weeks for, the moment when he finally proposed. I say finally because when you know that someone is your lobster, it feels like forever until they ask you to share your life with them.

2009 was my best year, ever. It started off on a high note and is ending on a high note. The year didn’t kick off with resolutions of losing weight (at this point, I could have stood to gain back a lbs. actually); it didn’t kick off with a vow to travel or read more or to volunteer my time. It started off with me just being grateful to be alive and to be surrounded by so much love. Besides, when you have a wedding to plan, you life becomes all encompassed and you really don’t think about much else: wake up. Think about wedding colors. Eat breakfast. Think about wedding menu. Go to work. Sneak a few minute on line to browse photos. Drive home. Create your binder. You get the picture.

The year continued to go on the up and up….here, I share just a few highlights from the year:
January- started off great as you know. We then celebrated our birthdays with a weekend ski trip to Big Bear, CA. It was soooo much fun, if you missed it, then you really missed a grand old time. The weather was great, the wine was perfect, and the company was great. We had a blast and then followed up with my traditional birthday party at Caramel at Bellagio. That was the last year for the big birthday bash…. I am getting too old and am now too busy with life to focus on a big party. Although- they will probably resume in 2011. If you are wondering, Mr. Nearlywed celebrates his birthday on January 23 and me… I am the 24th. We are a few years and one day apart. It was January 22nd when I got the results back from my antibody test, confirming what we long knew: I am a Type 1 Diabetic. I was put on insulin that day and that was the last day of getting along with the scale. For the first few weeks, I was incessantly hungry. And it showed- within a month I had gained almost 10 lbs.

It was February 24th when we wrote out the first check for the wedding: we put a deposit on our venue that we later kicked to the curb. On that same February 24th, we had 14 months to go. It seemed like an eternity. We now have less than four months to go. Yes, it flies by.

In March, I had the pleasure of taking an icy cold, freezing trip back to NYC for my BFFs (A-Zilla) bridal shower and my sister’s baby shower. It was cold on the East Coast! Whew… but we still managed to trudge through NYC trying on bridal gowns. This is where my sister earned her Jackpot status—she was seven months pregnant and walked all over NYC and helped me to try on dresses. It was this time when I truly felt like there would never be the right dress for me. All of the dresses we liked were way more expensive than my budget would allow. In March, it also felt like A-Zilla’s wedding was still so far away. She is now married almost seven months and well…six-and-a-half months pregnant.

In April, most of the month is a blur, but we did manage to celebrate our “minus one” anniversary (marking the day when we will be married in one year). That was on the 24th and on the 28th we had our engagement photos. They turned out fabulous- I lurve them.

In May… The highlight of my year was getting engaged and then becoming an aunt. I will never forget the text, “Sue’s in labor. She thinks her water broke.” That text came from my dad. I was home alone and no one would answer their phones- my fiancé, my BFF, no one. I could barely contain my excitement and my desire to book a flight to New Jersey. But I waited through the nite with zero updates. So when I awoke at 5:30 am, I frantically called my dad. They were pulling up to my sister’s house and off to the hospital they were… within 90 minutes, no this is not a joke, my beautiful little angel was born. First baby. No drugs. Ninety minutes. Let’s all take a minute to hate on Ster. Ok, done. My angel was three weeks old before I got to meet her but holding her for the first time in unforgettable.

May turned into June, where I stayed for two weeks to enjoy my family and my niece. I also walked down the aisle for the first time in A-Zilla’s wedding. As soon as Trumpets Voluntary started, I looked at my dad who was in the back of the church and fought back the tears. All I could do was picture my own wedding and the emotion that went along with it. And I also was elated for my dear friend to marry the love of her life. Mr. Nearlywed and I also spent some time enjoying a little vacay time in NYC. We love NYC. Period, new line.

My wedding dress was also picked out and purchased in June. After my weight got back down and before it went back up. UGH! I actually bought a size bigger than the sample and still have issues with it…more on that.

This is also when The Nearlywed Report made its debut in Las Vegas Bride Magazine. It was my first published piece and let tell you…. I was (still am) so proud. I gave my parents an autographed copy. In case I ever hit it big.

August- the only highlight I can remember is working with the JW Marriott on moving our wedding. We spent most of the month crossing our fingers and biting our nails. We weren’t sure if we could swing the $$ but in the end it worked out.

September rolled around and we signed our contract with the JW Marriott. Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy.

As the year rolled on, so many more great things happened: I found out that A-Zilla is pregnant and expecting in late March, thus taking her out of the wedding, but this is much more fabu. I continued writing and discovered things like twitter and that people do enjoy my blogs and my writing!

As the year rolled on, I also continued to grow as a person and as a wife-to-be. While I didn’t try to start cooking, I did try to be more domestic and really enjoy the moments at home with my fiancé. It worked. Our house is still comfy and cozy and the quiet moments truly helped us to build a stronger bond and cherish our relationship. It is easy to get caught up in the grind of the wedding planning and the pressure of the planning. It is easy to forget about the goal of the day and that is to become a wife, not a princess (for me at least). I could see a difference in the depth of our relationship over the past year and few months.

Moving on…. In October, I interviewed for a position with Las Vegas Bride magazine to become their editor. I was offered and accepted the position. One step closer to my goal of being a writer. I love this job and I love the company! This year probably could not have been better. When December arrived, the holiday season was already flying by. Since I wasn’t at the mall this year, I didn’t get to enjoy the season as much, but that is OK- it helped to keep us from over spending. We pulled a Four Christmases and took off for the holiday weekend to our favorite get-a-way, Lake Las Vegas. It was glorious. Our last vacation as a single couple, the last vacation before we tie the knot. It was bittersweet. The next time we stay there will be as a mini-moon.

Christmas day didn’t pass us by without the wonderful news of becoming an Aunt and Uncle again! My sister in law is pregnant with a little boy and we can’t wait until he enters the world and we get to spoil the life out of him!

Life is good.

As 2010 knocks on my door, I am not trying to set more resolutions. I am not trying to become a super woman. I resolve to continue to be a good fiancé/wife, a good friend, a good daughter, sister, aunt. I resolve to surround my life with positivity and put myself, my husband (to be) and my health first. That will mean saying no once in a while and it will mean being tired because of hitting the gym so early, but in the end, it is my life and I love it.
So there ya have it folks…. 2009 was the best year yet and I can only hope that 2010 at least matches it but I have a feeling it will surpass it.

I wish you all a healthy year, a successful year and one that brings you all that yuo desire- without being greedy!

My wish for you all is good health, great happiness and much success- no matter what you set out to do, do it honestly and always be positive.

Cheers!