Bridal Body, 1

Welcome to what I call the stepchild of Gluttony: The Bridal Body. Every bride has at one time or a hundred looked in the mirror and pinched a little here, tugged a little there, sucked and tucked it all in. Heck, even if you aren’t getting married and you are female, chances are you can relate.

Since moving to Vegas, I’ve gained 30 lbs. and subesquently lost 50 lbs. I told you- this blog would talk about the good bad and ugly. The 50 lbs came off in two ways: The South Beach Diet and getting ill with Diabetes. Unfortunately, the latter of the two was an unhealthy weight loss that left me looking sick and sunken; I would have even preferred a few extra pounds to look human again.

To look in the mirror now, or at any stage of your body, and pick oneself apart is depleting and not warranted. Love ourselves, ladies. I told my doctors not to allow me to gain any weight so that I can fit into my wedding dress come next April. The fingers are crossed. Anyway, like any Bride would, I look in the mirror and play nip/tuck with myself. If I could change one thing about my physical self, it would be that when I stand ankle to ankle, a gentle breeze blows through my thighs. Instead, the gentle breezes reach a relentless stop sign which allows for nothing to break on through. Surely, I am not the only one with a little extra inner thigh that serves no purpose other than keeping Smokey the Bear employed. You see, if I dare wear a skirt without some Spanx or other gut sucking, thigh squeezing apparatus, Smokey pops out with his unsolicited PSA and suggest that I don’t start forest fires when I walk.

Rest assured that on my wedding day, one of two things will happen: I will either get my loins high and tight or I will be wearing a gut sucking thigh squeezing apparatus. I’d like to say that you will be clueless but because of my blog babble, you are sure to read about it here before anyone tilts their head to the left and attempts to look for a girdle line.

With less than one year to go, I plan to keep my gym membership card dust free and use it often. As of today, I am not on any “official” Bridal Body workout, but I will certainly write about my attempts at building nice, shapely arms and removing the unwanted thigh.