.the bad and the ugly.

Ok, yes, I am a blogging slacker… I get it. Let’s hope that this makes up for my slacking. As of today, we are 101 days away and it can’t get here quickly enough. I know that we should enjoy this special time, I won’t be a fiancé again and I won’t plan my wedding own wedding again (vow renewal, anyone?!?) but it is sucking the life out of me. For serious.

Lately, I am feeling defeated. This is the ugly side of wedding planning that I will share with you. Of all the blogs I read, this subject hasn’t come up often, but I am not the only bride who wants to just quit, go to the courthouse and get it done. If we didn’t already pay half of our event to our venue, that would be an option.

Planning a wedding could seriously be its own job and that is why there are wedding planners- it is their job. How many weddings a year do they plan? That is their fulltime job. Me? I have a full time job and am planning a wedding, so it is becoming a bit much.

While most of the details are worked out, there are logistics to handle. So… I will go ahead and post all of the things that aren’t going right, at this point.

1. The dress. I haven’t tried it on in months. SO it may fit. I haven’t lost any weight since it arrived, months ago. I’ve been working out like a fiend, which I am loving. (More on my workouts another time)
2. I need undergarments and furnishings for this dress that I am praying fits.
3. My shower, while I am VERY appreciative that anyone invests any amount of time or money into me, it has become chaotic. My sister is trying to plan it from 2,500 miles away. I have two Zillaz here who want to step in and help more. Maybe my sis wants to be a good sis and plan it all. But we ran into some snafu’s…
4. The invites weren’t done in time. So with 4 weeks until the shower, they weren’t approved or even created. I am not sure what happened and don’t want to know.
5. My wedding invites are going out now and I don’t want to crowd the mail box with a shower invite and a wedding invite. Nothing screams “GIFT” more than two invites in one day.
6. One Zilla replied to an email and CC’d me on it. It was the email with all of the shower details and a gift idea that the girls thought of for me. So of course, I read it…. I could have NOT read it. But I now I know everything.
7. Bachelorette party. A-Zilla has offered to help plan this since she is on modified bed rest. This is a GREAT thing…but then I feel badly when the cost of anything comes up. But it is part of being in a wedding; these are things that need to be paid for and not by the bride, right? I will have a stash of cash anyway.
8. My list keeps growing
9. One of the mothers still doesn’t have a dress. And when I offered to go shopping with her, she said that it was too early. Now she wants to go next month and I am slammed with work, wedding planning and staying healthy.
10. My health. In case you didn’t know, I am a Type 1 diabetic who has been doing a decent job of maintaining good blood sugar numbers. The wedding hasn’t been stressing me out too much. Well that is starting to change. My numbers are fluctuating all over the place. The other nite, I woke up with an extreme low. So even with the working out, the healthy eating, it is my life right now that is taking me all over the numbers map.

I’ve asked Mr. Nearlywed to help keep me as stress-free as possible over the next three months. Stress free and weddings don’t normally fit in the same sentence but we can see how it works out.

Ok, there ya have it. Weddings seem like fun, but they can be insane. And there is a piece of my insanity that I’ve shared with you.

.happy 2010.

Happy New Year! This is the year in which I will be married. Yippeeee! While it seems that it can’t get here fast enough, it is really right around the corner.

The planning is ho-hum, but not wanting to start the New Year with an ugly blog, I will focus on the good. The bad and ugly will come tomorrow.

With 103days until the wedding, we have:
1. Started our pre-marital sessions (another blog will elaborate!)
2. Are starting our dance lessons tonite. I am white. I can’t dance.
3. Our invites are going SOON! Yes, it is three months early, but we have a TON of OOT guests and they are getting their invites soon, it will also make for hunting down people for RSVPs a TON easier.
4. My shower is in one month.
5. Make up is booked, yay!
6. My candy buffet has been reconfirmed.
7. We are meeting with our vendors slowly and surely to wrap up details.
8. Next week I meet with someone about creating a head/hair piece for me!
9. Mr. Nearlywed and I are really working well together as a team
10. I AM GETTING MARRIED!

There are many more good things, but that is what is making me happy right now, while I am in the middle of wedding chaos. Again, that post is scheduled for tomorrow.

Yes, I still owe you more on flowers, our invites, our DJ and videographer…. Stay tuned.

I wish you ALL a HAPPY NEW YEAR! And Happy wedding year, a happy engagement year, a happy dating year, a happy year of being in your BFFs wedding because it means the world to her, trust me, I know this.

.cheers and jeers.

Whew…. There are things that you know about wedding planning via checklists in all of the magazines, advice from your friends, shows on WeTV and more. What no one tells you is that you will want to elope several times. You will reconsider every decision you ever made. Your fiancé will drive you nuts about something minor like the font of a DIY sign. You will have high blood sugar from cake tastings. Friends will be offended that they aren’t in your wedding or providing you a wedding service. Everyone will offer a piece of unsolicited advice to you. People will let you down, you will let yourself down. You will re-reconsider your choices, again. Your other will hurt your feelings; your future mother-in-law will hurt your feelings. You will hurt someone’s feelings. Your bridesmaids will drive each other crazy. They will drive you a little bit crazy and forget to order their dress.

There isn’t a guide or magazine to help you deal with these things. It is called life. Life teaches you how to handle setbacks and disappointments.

I think of this today when I look at my phone and realized that not one friend texted me today. What is so bad about that? Well, today is the annual HUGE food festival in Las Vegas. An event that I haven’t missed in years! My dear M-Zilla works for the title sponsor and is at this event every year, all day long. Up until I got lazy, I was looking forward to finding her and having a drink and some eats with her. This was one of the first places that I met her- when I was just a mere fan of hers. Since then our relationship has grown into something special enough for her to be standing up with me at our wedding. We’ve been all of the above to each other and in the end; it has made our friendship grow into what it is now! Too bad i am lazy.... but it is also 90* and parking is a biotch there. And I had a cake tasting today and my sugar is high. Shocking.

But today, none of my usual suspects ever reached out to see if flo and I were going to this Festival. And why it bothers me is because I am generally the planner. K-Zilla and I are usually the planners. Last year I was at this festival with a group of 10-15 friends. K-Zilla waas not one of them because, as diabetics, this is a difficult place to watch ourselves! She has already informed me that she will pass this year too. And today, not-a-one messages or texted to see if we were going. Some of these friends pull the “I never see you anymore” woe-is-me with me and this makes me question why?? Is it because they rely on me/us to plan and keep us together or is it because they generally could give a crap less and just sit back and wait for me to take action.

In my world of being a bride, a blogger, an aunt, a fiancé, a daughter, an employee, a friend and a diabetic, being the planner is an added stress to my life.

Cheers to those who I can connect with here and there all randomly and then it feels like we saw each other yesty! Cheers to those who are on the guest list because they care and they genuinely keep in touch and ask about me- not just the wedding but how I am. Jeers to those who don’t. We may just have to reevaluate our guest list. Again.

It just goes to show you that in this world, you have yourself. I am blessed enough to have myself, my family and friends who are my family. Remember to put your wedding & wedding planning in perspective—life is short, enjoy the moments. Don’t sweat the small stuff.

.hispiration, part 1.

Several weeks back, I posted that a new column would be born on this blog and it would be called, ".hispiration." .hispiration. would be thoughts from the mind of the groom. Not just any groom, but my groom. With only seven months left to plan, we finally have our first entry. You see, as you read his entry.... I never gave him the list to which he referred. After a little bribery, he finally came around and wrote this for the blog.

This is for you, dear brides and wives, take what he says and keep it- because it is true! I can give you a new reason everyday as to why I won the "Husband to be Jackpot" and this is one of the reasons why... he cares enough to share his thoughts. Read on. Enjoy. Comment and ask for more!!

I find it ironic that I write professionally for a living, yet I stare at this blinking cursor trying to come up with something clever to say.

How about a topic regarding the mind of a future groom? Since we spend countless hours trying to figure women out, why not give you intel on what goes through our heads during the exhausting months of wedding planning.

First, let me start by saying “Congratulations”. You tagged and bagged him. You reeled in one of 3 types of guys. The first, is the guy who has always been stoked about getting married. While all his friends wanted to go through a few dozen girlfriends first, your groom was already looking forward to walking down the aisle. The second guy, is the career oriented, I’ll wait type of gentleman. The one who knew he’d get married, but wanted to move up the career ladder first, then meet the right woman. Then there’s the guy who many of you know, the third gentleman. He’s the commitment phobe. The guy who never knew that a woman get’s 2 rings for her wedding (Why should he? he’s never tying the knot). He’s the one who has accepted that he’ll probably never have kids. He’ll just enjoy happy hour and date until he’s old and wrinkly like Mick Jagger. Well, if you snagged him, then you deserve a big round of applause. Because he changed all his future plans of single stardom for YOU.

Let’s talk weddings. I’m willing to bet you have your binder and list of venues you’d love to check out. However, your groom doesn’t seem so enthusiastic about all the planning. Honestly, we don’t care about the invites, save the dates, flowers, etc. What we really care about is YOU, the food, and what you’ll look like walking down that aisle. WE want our socks knocked off and our jaws to drop when we see you in that dress. However, I’m a firm believer that a couple should be in the planning together. If you want to get your groom in the groove.

Here’s some advice:

We don’t mind that you’ll plan most of the wedding. Believe me, you won’t hurt our feelings. However, if you’d like to get your groom to help out, then why not make a short list of errands. NOW, when I say “short list” I mean it. A long “WEDDING TO DO LIST” sounds like it’s more of a nagging list than anything. So, my advice is to keep it short at first. Then add a few more down the road. The approach with the “to do list” is critical. Start off with a smile and a big kiss. That way it get’s his attention. Then ask how his day went, look at him straight in the eye when doing this so get his undivided attention. Then go into something that sounds sweet and diplomatic. “You know I love you, and I don’t mind planning most of our wedding. But, it would mean the world to me if you can do just a couple of things to get the ball rolling so I’m not exhausted doing all the planning. It’s only a few things, and it would mean so much to me. Again, I’ll do most of the planning. Please “INSERT CUTE PET NAME FOR GROOM HERE!”
The disclaimer is that you’ll do most of the planning. Guys, don’t have any wedding planning in their blood. It’s just NOT us, and we run the risk of being the office joke from friends if we talk about what colors we want and etc. The key is the delivery, not nagging or sarcasm. Just a sweet – eye to eye conversation asking for his help and what it means to YOU.

I promised my lovely fiancée that I’d offer a little advice into what goes through the mind of a groom. Well, I hope this helps. Take it from a guy who was groom #3 on my list. Yeah, the commitment phobe guy. What it boils down to is, any guy can be all “machismo” about not getting married and joys of single life. However, when YOU finally meet the ONE that destiny planned for you. Then, all your guy rules go out the window. That’s what love does to you. :D

Follow the thoughts of my groom here, on Twitter.

.more of the nearlywed whereabouts.

Ok- so in one of my last posts I said that you would soon know why I've been a mish-mash of a person. You still have to wait.


In the meantime, you can see some of the fabulous things that I've written. The fabulous is clearly subjective.


When setting up my blog, it was a no brainer to try to write for someone else too! So I sent in apps to a few blog sites and they all took me! YAY! Which means, that I am a busy writing woman right now....and in return, my blog has taken a backseat. BUT I will post some of those entries here.

On Mondays, you can find me on Tweet My Wedding, where I take one of my Twitter tweets and turn it into a blog. This is where I write the "ugly", the stuff that may not be for all public eyes. This is almost like my journal that stays hidden. But now...well....that won't happen any longer.

Twice weekly, you can find me on Bridal Buds, where I am Poinsettia Bud. This is where I try to post some inspiration, whether it is for my wedding or just in general. I find it challenging to post inspiration for something that may not work for me, but it is a work in progress.

You can also find me at Weddzilla, where I am just me (Jennifer B.). I love this blog and try to post some of my "hot topics" or current challenges with planning.

Blogging is one of my favorite things. Do I think that maybe it is over committing? Maybe, sometimes, but the stuff gets written. Whether everyone finds it interesting or not...that is personal. Most readers seem to enjoy me and for that, I thank you, dear readers. And promise to get you more content more often.

Have a great day!

.the cost of being in the know.

It is no secret that being in a wedding is both an honor and expense! That was one of the reasons why it took me so long to finalize and ask my bridal party. I actually knew who I wanted to ask long before I asked them; however, knowing the costs of being in a wedding, I hesitated. As a recent bridesmaid, I know how much they cost and how much I am asking of that person to stand with me on one of the biggest days of my life. Let’s be honest—I would spend anything to be there for a friend.

In my first bridal experience, I knew that it would be “expensive” but was never quite sure until the plans started to finalize. The wedding was out of town for me and there was NO WAY that I was missing the shower. So there is one plane ticket. Then, obviously, I am going to the wedding along with my significant other (who was still my boyfriend at the time of asking, not yet my fiancé). At the time of asking, Flo and I had only been dating about six months, so I assumed that I would be paying for his trip to go as my guest. Luckily (whew!) by the time the wedding came around, we were engaged and my money is now our money. When A-Zilla had asked me to be in the wedding, the first thing that she said was that she understands how costly they could be (speaking from her experience) and if anyone can’t be in it, she understood. And she meant it; however, there is no way, no how I personally would miss this for a BFF of mine. So I buckled down and started to budget. I never kept record of my costs, but I can give you my estimate between travel, hotel, gifts, attire, spending money it was about $1500. However, the money was spread out over time so it was not one big, huge hit at one time.

With all of this in mind, I am doing my darndest to cut back on expenses for the Zillaz. I will be forever grateful for A-Zilla to let Flo and I crash at the fabu Hoboken pad before the wedding and while they were on their honeymoon! Don’t worry, we cleaned up and left them some wine for their post honeymoon return! Their kindness saved us like $500 in additional hotel nites! Sweet.

It has become my goal to alleviate as much of the Zillaz cost as possible, from dress to hair & makeup to bachelorette party to showers…. I am trying to be easy on their wallets during this “economic time”.

On Bridelines, they posted this great article told through the minds of Zillaz (not my Zillaz…yet!) and I keep this information top of mind when making any wedding decisions. Heck, it will probably cost ME more to have Zillaz IN the wedding than it will for the Zillaz TO be a part of the wedding! To view the whole article, click here.

Dollars aside, I would never trade the experience of being a part of something so special for a friend and would do whatever I can to have my Zillaz be a part of our wedding.

I hope that they still lurve me after the wedding!

.engagement photos: recap, part I.

Our engagement photos were Tuesday! It was quite exciting yet exhausting. We left our house at 8:15 am and returned home at almost 9 pm. It was a full and quite productive day.

Instead of starting the day with an energizing workout, the day started out with me tending to a rather large pimple on my cheek. I knew that it was coming; it made its presence felt way before it ever showed its ugly face. Isn’t that how luck goes? Especially for someone who rarely has any blemishes? Once the sun began to rise, I began to shine. My excitement could not be contained behind tired eyes and I was up at the crack of dawn.

Best part of the morning? Getting up, showering and not having to do my hair or makeup. It made the morning a breeze! We packed up the car and headed out to get my hairs did. The thing that I love most about my stylist, other than her also being a great friend to me, is that I never have to really tell her what I want. This time, I did show a photo and she blew that photo out of the water! I should have known that no images were needed for her amazing skills. In an hour we were out, onto make up. My regular and preferred artist, Craig, had the day off, so he substituted himself with another artist. Make up was done at the MAC Pro Store so I knew that my face was in good hands. It is always a slight challenge to have someone new work their magic on you, but Talia did a great job—so good that I had forgotten she even put on fake eyelashes! Not once did I tug or fidget with them throughout the entire day. It still would have been nice to share the day with my glam man, but there is always the wedding day.

Once we were primped and ready to go, we began the shoot with some portrait/glam shots. Seated, standing, on steps, we looked like we were in a grand mansion somewhere that is not here. We moved into the make shift studio, which is a wedding chapel by typical day, shot some more of the formals, a few solos and then moved onto the comedy shots. With Flo being a local weatherman, we played off of his career by playing Weatherman and Hot Weather Assistant. Those were actually fun and I may, just may use one of those shots for my column.

We took ourselves to the Neon Boneyard, which is what I’ve been waiting for! You pay a fee for one hour, private use of the boneyard. Gosh that hour went quickly! I never changed into the “dressy” outfit that I wanted, but that was by choice, I liked the way our everyday clothes shots were turning out. It took a little while to get into our groove of posing- I had no idea it would be that challenging. It isn’t easy to laugh, smile, pose and joke when put on the spot. Here, we used the cardboard signs with the hopes of using these photos for our STDs. After our hour whizzed by, we took our first break, reviewed some shots and talked about our last set of shots.

When Flo proposed, it was on New Years at Fremont Street. So it was only fitting to take a few shots here. I changed into outfit #4 and off we went. After dinner, wine and a beer, we were warmed up and these shots were effortlessly chic. I’ve always loved the brick wall shots, or where the bride-to-be wears a vibrant outfit and pops from the background. Low and behold we found a brick wall and posed.

But not before we were:

1. Asked to leave by Fremont Security. We kindly told him that we only looked like professional photogs and models. These photos were for personal use- our engagement pics.
2. We were serenaded by two random people who asked if I was a model. My response? “No, I just look like one!” Snap. I’ve always wanted to say that. The serenade song? “It’s So Hard to Say Good Bye to Yesterday” by Boys II men… totally inappropriate? I think so.
3. We were then accosted by a man cradling a Sparks beer in a paper bag. He suggested that Scott put away his camera or he will end of arrested and in jail. Apparently he was rubbed the wrong way by the segway riding security guards who were following him. Can’t say that he is to blame.

It was finally a wrap with some fun, artistic shots that are out of the ordinary. Flo and I are game for anything and are happy to have Scott and Cameron on our team to help us take fabulous, unique, stunning engagement and wedding photos. After yesterday, I am that much more excited for the wedding and all of the amazing ideas that we have for photos! Yippee!!! Now, I have to take my own advice and save the wedding shots that I like.

Up next? My post-shoot advice and things I’ve learned…. In the meantime, enjoy a small preview....

The Dream Team

This is just too exciting to NOT blog right now, because I may soon forget what this feeling feels like and I don’t want to not capture it. My Dream Team has officially been assembled, as of yesterday. I call them a Dream Team because that is what they are, to me. A formal intro to the Dream Teams (this includes Flo’s) will follow…but it includes family and friends, near and far, new and old. It was challenging because I had to remind myself that the wedding is about Me and Flo. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks about who is asked or what they think if they aren’t asked. There were some times I wanted to ask people I have known longer or may see more often, but I received some great advice—Ask those who are responsible, who will be there for you and have your best interest at heart. With that advice, I quickly assembled my bridesmaid asking gifts (bribery, as I called it) and wrote out their cards with messages from the heart. Everyone in my party has seen me through many stages of my life and it gives me great joy to know that it continues into my marriage. The person who gave that advice, well, she was asked to be in my party.

Now that the party is complete, it is a huge sigh of relief and I really do, for some reason, feel complete. It’s uncanny, I wasn’t expecting to feel this way. What I also wasn’t expecting was the feelings I got before, during and after the asking. Nerves took over before each asking…even with my sister! Then while they were reading their cards, it was nerves/excitement/anticipation! Are they going to say yes?? Then seeing them smile, cry, laugh and sigh was the monogram on top of the cake! It was awesome, even today, I am still flying high.

I have pictures of everyone opening their gifts, except one, who I was not able to ask in person. It was really meaningful to me to be able to ask in person, which is why it took so long for me to reach everyone. But the gifts are given, the responses are yes and we now can let the fun and games begin!!!

A previous post showed you my thought process on the gifts- allow me to introduce you to the gifts:

They were custom made at Sugar&Spice Signature Cards and Gifts Dallisa, who is truly amazing, put together a decorative box with our initials on them, inside was a retro/pin up looking mug with one of three sayings on them, a variety pack of her handmade signature cards, a ring pop, Hershey’s kisses and a candle from the S&S line of gifts.

Bribery, as I called it, for the girls. My bridesmaidzillaz. It's only cool if we use a "z" at the end.

So to S, F, A, K, M this is gonna be one heckuva party! Thank you.