.jackpot part 4.

When picking a bridal party, it is important to pick the people who you know have your back. While a bridesmaid doesn’t “technically” have to do anything other than show up to your wedding, there are some who fly to the moon and back for you. For my wedding, I was lucky enough to pick two Zillaz who would fly to outer space and back for me.

They are planning all pre-wedding activities with two others who each live 2,000+ miles away and are three hours ahead of us. They both have families, jobs and one is even back in school taking classes.

When it comes time to work out the details of a shower that is in disarray, they were ready willing and able to meet with me at a moment’s notice and work out the details. When I need someone to go shopping with me, they are available at any time, even if one starts the day with me and the other finishes with me. When I feel like the wedding world is against me, they both reassure me that everything will come together, everything will be fine and I will be beautiful.

When I express concerns about fitting into my dress, they offer to work out with me and if all else fails, rip off our insulin pumps and go rogue with me. Even though we won’t do it, I care that she cares. When I tweet about someone upsetting me or calling me a word that I have to look up on dictionary.com, they will immediately send an email, asking if everything is OK and offer their great advice, even if it is from a cartoon, “Smile and wave, boys. Smile and wave.”

They both cried when I asked them to be in my wedding and to stand up with me and watch me marry the love of my life. They both cried with me when I was shared with them what it felt like when I was diagnosed with diabetes and shared with them some very personal details of my struggle with my life and health. When I need a pick-me-up, it isn’t too far off to find a silly video posted on my facebook account or a request for a sushi date at our “first date spot.”

I know that these two Zillaz are friends for life because of what we’ve been through and what we will continue to experience together. I also know that we will be friends for ever because we have already crossed all of the bumps in the roads from brutally honest emails to just plain old not speaking to each other and look at us now…we all have matching slippers.

To K-Zilla and M-Zilla, thank you from the bottom of my Bride-Zilla heart for all that you have done for me, to me and bring to my life!

.the bad and the ugly.

Ok, yes, I am a blogging slacker… I get it. Let’s hope that this makes up for my slacking. As of today, we are 101 days away and it can’t get here quickly enough. I know that we should enjoy this special time, I won’t be a fiancé again and I won’t plan my wedding own wedding again (vow renewal, anyone?!?) but it is sucking the life out of me. For serious.

Lately, I am feeling defeated. This is the ugly side of wedding planning that I will share with you. Of all the blogs I read, this subject hasn’t come up often, but I am not the only bride who wants to just quit, go to the courthouse and get it done. If we didn’t already pay half of our event to our venue, that would be an option.

Planning a wedding could seriously be its own job and that is why there are wedding planners- it is their job. How many weddings a year do they plan? That is their fulltime job. Me? I have a full time job and am planning a wedding, so it is becoming a bit much.

While most of the details are worked out, there are logistics to handle. So… I will go ahead and post all of the things that aren’t going right, at this point.

1. The dress. I haven’t tried it on in months. SO it may fit. I haven’t lost any weight since it arrived, months ago. I’ve been working out like a fiend, which I am loving. (More on my workouts another time)
2. I need undergarments and furnishings for this dress that I am praying fits.
3. My shower, while I am VERY appreciative that anyone invests any amount of time or money into me, it has become chaotic. My sister is trying to plan it from 2,500 miles away. I have two Zillaz here who want to step in and help more. Maybe my sis wants to be a good sis and plan it all. But we ran into some snafu’s…
4. The invites weren’t done in time. So with 4 weeks until the shower, they weren’t approved or even created. I am not sure what happened and don’t want to know.
5. My wedding invites are going out now and I don’t want to crowd the mail box with a shower invite and a wedding invite. Nothing screams “GIFT” more than two invites in one day.
6. One Zilla replied to an email and CC’d me on it. It was the email with all of the shower details and a gift idea that the girls thought of for me. So of course, I read it…. I could have NOT read it. But I now I know everything.
7. Bachelorette party. A-Zilla has offered to help plan this since she is on modified bed rest. This is a GREAT thing…but then I feel badly when the cost of anything comes up. But it is part of being in a wedding; these are things that need to be paid for and not by the bride, right? I will have a stash of cash anyway.
8. My list keeps growing
9. One of the mothers still doesn’t have a dress. And when I offered to go shopping with her, she said that it was too early. Now she wants to go next month and I am slammed with work, wedding planning and staying healthy.
10. My health. In case you didn’t know, I am a Type 1 diabetic who has been doing a decent job of maintaining good blood sugar numbers. The wedding hasn’t been stressing me out too much. Well that is starting to change. My numbers are fluctuating all over the place. The other nite, I woke up with an extreme low. So even with the working out, the healthy eating, it is my life right now that is taking me all over the numbers map.

I’ve asked Mr. Nearlywed to help keep me as stress-free as possible over the next three months. Stress free and weddings don’t normally fit in the same sentence but we can see how it works out.

Ok, there ya have it. Weddings seem like fun, but they can be insane. And there is a piece of my insanity that I’ve shared with you.

.happy 2010.

Happy New Year! This is the year in which I will be married. Yippeeee! While it seems that it can’t get here fast enough, it is really right around the corner.

The planning is ho-hum, but not wanting to start the New Year with an ugly blog, I will focus on the good. The bad and ugly will come tomorrow.

With 103days until the wedding, we have:
1. Started our pre-marital sessions (another blog will elaborate!)
2. Are starting our dance lessons tonite. I am white. I can’t dance.
3. Our invites are going SOON! Yes, it is three months early, but we have a TON of OOT guests and they are getting their invites soon, it will also make for hunting down people for RSVPs a TON easier.
4. My shower is in one month.
5. Make up is booked, yay!
6. My candy buffet has been reconfirmed.
7. We are meeting with our vendors slowly and surely to wrap up details.
8. Next week I meet with someone about creating a head/hair piece for me!
9. Mr. Nearlywed and I are really working well together as a team
10. I AM GETTING MARRIED!

There are many more good things, but that is what is making me happy right now, while I am in the middle of wedding chaos. Again, that post is scheduled for tomorrow.

Yes, I still owe you more on flowers, our invites, our DJ and videographer…. Stay tuned.

I wish you ALL a HAPPY NEW YEAR! And Happy wedding year, a happy engagement year, a happy dating year, a happy year of being in your BFFs wedding because it means the world to her, trust me, I know this.

.one zilla down.

Yes, folks, that is right. I am down a Zilla. Not because I am a Zilla….although I was called one TWICE last week. TWICE! Me?!!? Psh.

It was in early August when I sent out an email to my Zillaz asking them some things about the wedding. Shortly thereafter, I get a BBM from A-Zilla: “Hey- we need to have a phone date soon!” I was one of those things you just know—like when your man is the one and when your wedding dress is perfect for you. I just knew that she was calling to tell me some fabulous news. It couldn’t wait- on my end- until the weekend. I told her that I’d call her right after my meeting. Not that I could concentrate on that meeting, but I tried. Before jumping to too many conclusions, although I texted what I knew it to be…

Giving away no clues, I had to suffer through a meeting while dreaming of the call that awaited me. When I was able to finally call her, I just waited for her to spew it out, “You are going to be an auntie!” YAY!!! One of my Bffs was pregnant!!! And can’t come to the wedding! Yippee…. What is so yippee about that? Well….we are in our 30s, there are never any guarantees when you are eager to start your family.

When I asked A-Zilla to be in my wedding, she had asked if I’d be upset if she was pregnant at my wedding. Maybe if I were under the age of 25 and thought the world truly did revolve around me, I would have been, but after 30 eh….you are just happy to be alive. I didn’t care if she would be preggo! She didn’t expect it to happen so quickly…turns out she is due 3 weeks before the wedding. Whether the baby arrives early or late, she won’t be flying 2,500 miles with a new born, a husband and a bridesmaid dress. I almost wished she found out after we ordered the dresses because I kind of want one for myself now.

Anyway, we don’t know the baby’s gender or a name…. so don’t ask. And I will say this again: Flo and I could not be any happier for our dear friends. We will truly miss them and the fun that they bring to any gathering. I can’t wait to meet baby Zilla one day and be there for his/her wedding too!



So what does this mean for The Nearlyweds wedding? Well, we are four on one side and five on the other. One of the lucky ladies will be escorted by two gents.

.progress in the fashion area.

We made some progress in the fashion department over the past few weeks:

1. I bought my dad a tie. This compliments both the wedding and my mom's dress. I had originally found this on The Tie Bar and thought, "oh we have PLENTY of time"....well when I went to buy it.... it was gone. At J. Crew, I had seen one there and after finally making it to the local J. Crew Outlet, they had one left. One left in two colors: an olivey green and a brighter green. It looks like the tie below...except without the white. But now that I see the white...hmmmm.....

2. Flo bought some ties at the Tie Bar as well. We bought two green ties and matching pocket squares. Am loving the The Tie Bar, for serious. We haven't.... He hasn't decided on which tie her prefers. That will be his choice. He is fashion aware, as I like to call him and will give him that decision to make.

3. We are ordering the Zillaz dresses! Yay! M-Zilla and K-Zilla were able to try on the dress and both gave it three snaps up and a Z formation. So we moved forward with the order forms. I am hoping that the Zillaz all get them in and ordered by October 1. I had emailed all four of my Zillaz and heard back from one that she got it and has ordered her dress. But I have faith that all will be ordered on time. I know, it is me being crazy...but a "hey I got it." Or, "Hey I ordered it" would calm my neuroses.

4. We are ordering coordinating ties for our guys! We are going with the Dessy Group Satin ties and Pocket Squares in concord. They will coordinate with the Zillaz. So Groomsmaids and Zillaz are all set, for the most part.

5. MOB ordered her dress, had it shortened like I suggested (yay! It was optional, but it will look way cuter for the "theme"). She is going with a sassy navy dress. I haven't a clue what MIL will be wearing which is making me mildly nervous....but I can't control every detail. We haven't revisited her outfitting since showing me something white she'd like to wear. Again, my neuroses...

6. I ordered shoes. Yup. Finally. They are NOT the Louboutin's that I had dreamt about... but we DID change our venue and add quite a bit of $$$ to our budget for that. It's all good because I do love these.... and bought them for a great price. I actually love challenging myself to see what I can find for the lowest price. They are the "Giselle" by Liz Rene. Still debating on dyeing them to match Flo's tie tho....

.we picked a zillaz dress.

Last Saturday, K-Zilla and I ventured to the other side of town to check out the Zillaz dress. I loved it already, so this was a nail biting trip. M-Zilla went the week prior to check it out and she loved it as well. Well, at least I think that they love it. Maybe they are lying but I doubt it. So far the count is 2 yay and 0 nay. I am guessing that my other Zillaz won’t be able to try on the dress—no because they won’t, but it is a hard sample to come across.

Jamie at Bella Bridesmaid was kind enough to order a sample and even better—she ordered samples in colors that I was considering. After seeing the color “Concord”, I decided that was THE ONE. Originally, I wanted different colors for the Zillaz, but with Concord being the only color I truly like, we are sticking with one color but will wrap the dress different ways.

I love this dress so much that I’ve considered buying my own. A word to the wise: This dress runs BIG. And in sizes XS-S-M-L, which is great for those who don’t want to get measured!

In case you haven’t read my post on wanting my aisle to look more like a runway, read my post here.

We will be ordering the dresses within the next few weeks! Check that off of the list!

.the cost of being in the know.

It is no secret that being in a wedding is both an honor and expense! That was one of the reasons why it took me so long to finalize and ask my bridal party. I actually knew who I wanted to ask long before I asked them; however, knowing the costs of being in a wedding, I hesitated. As a recent bridesmaid, I know how much they cost and how much I am asking of that person to stand with me on one of the biggest days of my life. Let’s be honest—I would spend anything to be there for a friend.

In my first bridal experience, I knew that it would be “expensive” but was never quite sure until the plans started to finalize. The wedding was out of town for me and there was NO WAY that I was missing the shower. So there is one plane ticket. Then, obviously, I am going to the wedding along with my significant other (who was still my boyfriend at the time of asking, not yet my fiancé). At the time of asking, Flo and I had only been dating about six months, so I assumed that I would be paying for his trip to go as my guest. Luckily (whew!) by the time the wedding came around, we were engaged and my money is now our money. When A-Zilla had asked me to be in the wedding, the first thing that she said was that she understands how costly they could be (speaking from her experience) and if anyone can’t be in it, she understood. And she meant it; however, there is no way, no how I personally would miss this for a BFF of mine. So I buckled down and started to budget. I never kept record of my costs, but I can give you my estimate between travel, hotel, gifts, attire, spending money it was about $1500. However, the money was spread out over time so it was not one big, huge hit at one time.

With all of this in mind, I am doing my darndest to cut back on expenses for the Zillaz. I will be forever grateful for A-Zilla to let Flo and I crash at the fabu Hoboken pad before the wedding and while they were on their honeymoon! Don’t worry, we cleaned up and left them some wine for their post honeymoon return! Their kindness saved us like $500 in additional hotel nites! Sweet.

It has become my goal to alleviate as much of the Zillaz cost as possible, from dress to hair & makeup to bachelorette party to showers…. I am trying to be easy on their wallets during this “economic time”.

On Bridelines, they posted this great article told through the minds of Zillaz (not my Zillaz…yet!) and I keep this information top of mind when making any wedding decisions. Heck, it will probably cost ME more to have Zillaz IN the wedding than it will for the Zillaz TO be a part of the wedding! To view the whole article, click here.

Dollars aside, I would never trade the experience of being a part of something so special for a friend and would do whatever I can to have my Zillaz be a part of our wedding.

I hope that they still lurve me after the wedding!

.the entourage.

My Zillaz.

Maid of Honor: Ster, my sister, if it weren’t for her, my name would have been Michelle. I’m so happy that she picked something so unique. Sigh. As with most siblings, we had to grow up in order to realize how much we really do love each other. She picked on me, made fun of me and was always bigger than me. Until now—she has to look up to me. I am delighted that she will be standing next to me and I get to make her girly for just one day. So many things in our lives have changed over the past couple of years- it is hard to visualize us as adults and wives when I still picture us as careless teens at the Laurel Mall.

Friend, A-Zilla. My friend of just about eight years now…. We met while both working at Toys”R”Us, in NJ. I was fairly fresh from residing in Italy and we instantly bonded. A and I spent many years playing each other’s “faux date” when invited anywhere. Now that we are both on the verge of being married, we have real and permanent dates. We have been through so many things together as friends and it is an amazing feeling to see us both with great men and so flippin happy that we can’t stand ourselves. This June I will be a bridesmaid in her wedding (first time ever) and she is graciously returning the favor and being a part of mine for which I could not be happier. One of my favorite memories: Fire Island Weekend. And I was there when she met the man who she married one week ago.

Cousin, Gidget. Obviously have known each other since birth, but became close in 1998 when I spent summers living with her and taking care of her kids. And I still love her enough to have her in my wedding! Hey, I was 19 and taking care of a two-year-old and an eight-year-old. We’ve remained close and I am so happy that she agreed to be a part of the wedding. Gidget is the only Zilla who doesn’t live near a fellow Zilla. She can either consider herself lucky or have an excuse for several out of town trips away from her reality. One of my favorite memories: Buckhead. Atlanta was so much fun and I am thrilled she allowed me into her home and life as a friend.

Friend, K-Zilla. and I met here in Vegas, two or three years ago, and didn’t know the bond we would soon have. When I was diagnosed with Diabetes, she was able to offer help in a way that not many others could. I’m sure that without diabetes we would still be friends, but it certainly sped it up. This is her time being in a wedding. EVER. I drag her to bridal stores, clog up her inbox with dress photos and ideas and she still loves me and still wants to be in the wedding. Consider her warned. She is my truth conscience, when I need to be set straight I go to Bell. One of my favorite memories: My birthday this year, all of the celebrations.

.me with k and m zillaz.

Friend, M-Zilla. M and I met almost three years ago after a mishap in the women’s restroom. Let’s just say that we will be sure to include feminine products in our emergency kit. She has seen through the worst of times and is now seeing me through the best of times. She shares my love of NYC and through that I feel a little bit more connected to her. It was M’s insight into weddings that allowed me to finalize my bridal party. She is brilliant and her family is amazing, I have always looked up to her marriage. One of my favorite memories: Our first date and taking silly photos of ourselves. And cupcakes, lots of them. And nachos.

I am blessed with many, many friends in my life. These five women are rocks in my life and I know that they will be there for me through the whole wedding process and beyond. Our relationships are cemented for life and can’t wait to share in this joy with them.

Flo’s Entourage:

Best Man, S and I met on the basketball courts when we were 14-15 years old. I taught him everything he knows. We shared an unsanitary locker in High School, but we managed to stay friends since. We even went to college together and were temporary roommates, until he had to grow up and graduate. S has always been the "Dad" of the group, who has always taken the moral route through life. He's probably saved my life numerous times in college. He's a friend who I can always count on.... to lend me money--with no interest.

Groomsman, L and I met in intramural softball in college. He and I have stories so crazy; we can't mention them for fear of possible retaliation from our school chancellor. L could crack me up in the direst situations. He has always been a hard worker, and pulled weeklong all nighters in college. Yes, WEEK all nighters. He's always been a good friend, but has never paid for any of my dinners.

Groomsman, R, as we call him has been a friend since college. He roomed with me, L and S, and somehow we managed to not burn our apartment. R has numerous college stories which will end up biting me in the butt someday when he writes a book. But, for now he's busy changing diapers. R was always challenging me to be a better person. He did it by daring me to do some of the craziest stuff, just for his pure enjoyment.

Brother, J, I am told is related to me. But, until the DNA tests come out, I'll call him my older brother. J often picked on me; maybe for fear that I would grow taller. And, I DID! He always managed to give good advice and protected me from school bullies. I think it's because he believed HE could only pick on me. He's my moral compass, and has kept me in line all throughout my life. At least until I met L and R.

Brother, E, or "Generic", is my oldest brother. You can tell because he has less hair than me. He used to often remind me that he remembered when I was NOT born yet. He's one of the smartest and wisest brown guys I know. His intelligence is sometimes unmatched. But, his cooking skills are feeble. E, however has always been there for all my breakups, my challenges and to steal the car away from me on Friday nights in High School.

All joking aside, these 5 are truly MY BEST FRIENDS. We've been through all the trials and tribulations of life, and managed to stay brothers and friends. I am proud and honored to have each of them alongside me at MY wedding. And, they are free to eat the food---No extra charge.

Foreward to Pre-Planning

Let’s face it- I would be a complete and total liar if my blog boasted about how simple wedding planning really is. I am here to tell you that it is not. But it also does not have to be all-consuming and eat you alive. I am an event planner by profession, also a former wedding coordinator, and it overwhelms me at times, even though I though my cool and composure would be kept at all times.

My own personal rule #1:
KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE PRIZE. What is this day about? It is about marrying the love of your life, your best friend and committing to each other for life, not for one day, so don’t make the event about one day. Things can and will go wrong. You can make those moments a little less stressful by being prepared (you did ask your A-team to be bridesmaids for a reason, right??) and by staying focused on what this day means. It will not define your marriage or your life if one small thing goes wrong. Even if a major catastrophe crops up, it does not define you or your marriage. By keeping your eye on the prize (your new husband or wife) these minor jolts in the day will seem miniscule. Laugh about it on your five or ten year anniversary….

My most overwhelming ditty right now?? The guest list! I asked the parents for an A-list and a B-list. D-listers, beware! It pretty much looks like an A-lister wedding all the way! We are 50+ over where we had hoped to be, luckily, the invites aren’t going out tomorrow. The daunting part for me? Do you know how many people are going to enter into our lives or come out of the woodwork over the next several months? It is time to put a cap on the list, this goes for me too…. I keep adding people. Shhhh…don’t tell on me.

My least overwhelming ditty? My vendors. Most of them are already verbally secured, thank you to my career in events and weddings. Hey, when isn’t “You ARE doing my wedding, I can’t have an event without you!” not considered secure?

As I finish my story on Las Vegas Bride, more planning information will come forth. In the blog queue right now: a blog on dress shopping in NYC, “The Entourage” where we introduce you to the members of our wedding entourage and soon it will be time to dig deep into the details with photos and ideas! Stay tuned….

Cheers!