.the story behind the dress, part 2.

In yesterday's post, I shared with you part 1 of my dress drama. Here is part two. I ended up buying the Jovani Cowl Back dress:


At my endocrinologist visit in July, my blood work confirmed that my C-peptide was .8, which is the bare minimum it can be before requiring full-time insulin. My previous reading was 1.2, so it was declining and I was put on insulin shots. Within a few weeks, I was up eight pounds. By the time my gown arrived in mid-September, I was up about 12 pounds. Scroll back up and see how slim and slinky that dress is.... yea, no room for anyone to gain 12 ounces, yet alone pounds. But never fear, I still have seven months until the wedding and can easily lose that weight. Ahem.... if you've never been on insulin before, you won't understand. But it is a fat producing hormone. And fat, it produced. I continued to gain weight until at least late December.

I first tried on the dress in September with K-Zilla when we also tried on the Zillaz dress. Yea, there was evidence of a weight gain, but it wasn't of worry yet. Matter of fact, we celebrated this day with pizza, afterward.






Even with working out, the weight didn't fall off. I will admit to this: knowing that I can now eat more than 30-45 carbs, I actually started to eat real pasta and enjoy me some more sweets. Yea, I took advantage of my insulin pen.

Long story short.... I worked out insanely and the true test came MLK weekend in January 2010. I was having a "Zillaz" day, the morning belonging to K-Zilla and the afternoon belonging to M-Zilla. It was M-Zilla who was with me at Nordstrom when we tried on undergarments and the dress. Sadly, it was a disaster. Not fully because of my weight gain, but there is no room for any undergarments. The seams were showing, the line where it ended above my knee was showing. It was a nightmare. With four months until the wedding, I knew that sure, the weight could come off, but was it worth the stress? Not to me. So M-Zilla and I walked briskly to Jessica McClintock and tried on some dresses. I worked at Fashion Show for months while I was engaged and never once tried on any of her dresses. Odd, because they are amazing. I thought they were out of my budget, they aren't. Wait until I tell you how much I paid for my dress, in the end.

So I tried on a few and these two were the contenders. I loved this one shoulder gown and I know that Mr. Nearlywed loves me in one shoulder garments. I didn't like the way it photographed. Granted, this was a point-and-shoot camera. Forgive my poor posture. This gown was $2,000-it was a one-of-a-kind couture gown. Gorgeous.







But then I loved this one... it was simple, yet fun and would go with fun & fab shoes and the veil that I had in mind. The price tag on this one was just over $400.









If you've seen even one wedding photo, then you know I chose the above dress. The coolest thing was that I told virtually no one, except Mr. Nearlywed, M-Zilla and a few others who were not related to the wedding. The shock came to them on the wedding day.

So now that you know my dress mess, how did I do?

.the story behind the dress.

For as long as I've been blogging on this site, my wedding dress was a huge source of stress. I can finally, two months after the wedding, share all with you. Yes, I could have done this sooner, but I must say this-- the wedding wore me out. It seemed like recovery was nowhere in sight at times. But here I am, to recap everything from the wedding. Let's start with my dress.

When I started out, I didn't have a budget, but in my head, I knew that spending over $1,200 on a dress (and even that was pushing it) would eat me alive. But I still tried on Elizabeth Filmore, Amy Michaelson, Vera Wang and more. They all look maaaahhhvelous. And I loved the silk charmeuse on my skin. So at one point, I went to a seamstress and took her this love of my then bride-to-be life. It is Taj Mahal by Amy Michelson. It retailed for about $3,800 at Kleinfelds. Which, by the way, shopping there is ground for a whole other blog.

Here is the dress, courtesy of AmyMichelson.com



Gorgeous, huh? After trying on this gem, of which there are no photos courtesy of Kleinfeld's rules, which we respected, I needed a sexy back dress. I wanted to hear my guests gasp after I passed them while walking down the aisle. But I refused to pay that much. It was a new dress, from the fall 2009 line, so there weren't any for sale. I also found some from Winnie Couture that had the open back and they came in my price range, around $1,200.


This is the Winne Couture "Giada" dress. I wasn't able to try it on, the only store in Vegas who carried the line wouldn't order a sample. Silly, because I probably would have bought it. So...at this point we moved on.

Come June, my sister, my six-week-old niece and I went dress shopping. Again. We turned up at a little shack-on-the-road called Tina's Bridal in Totowa, NJ. When we pulled up, I almost told her to turn around, it was that much of a shack looking place. But we went in, smart move. What I would like to say most about Tina's is that we had an appointment to look at bridesmaids dresses, but when I asked if I could see their bridal gowns, they didn't even bat an eyelash and 100 percent accommodated us. And in the end, I bought a dress there.

I wasn't looking for poofy, I didn't want any skirt underneath and then I came across two gems there. One was a "Destination" label by.... I don't even remember. Darn. This was the dress. Of course, I wanted to open the back and make some adjustments to it....




Then, there was this beauty by Jovani. I had to slide into and hold my breath. However, wearing it on my wedding was of no concern. I was the thinnest I had pretty much ever been, with no intent on gaining weight, so I was good to go in this looker. I loved the back and how vintage it looked. I pictured a glamorous walk down the aisle, posing for photos with my chin just coming over my shoulder. And my body? It would be bangin'! It was June and I had 10 months to firm up and rock this dress. Apparently, my pancreas had other plans in the weeks to come.




This is what it is supposed to look like on the model who needs to be fed a steak.


So there you have it, my dress loves.... I went from loving a $3,800 gown to not being able to try on a $1,200 gown to deciding between a $400 and a $350 gown. I ended up buying the Jovani gown.... we had it ordered in a size bigger than the sample shown in the above photos. As you can tell, it was a bit snug. I was thrilled to buy my wedding dress in a size six. As someone who battled weight my whole life, this was a huge accomplishment. However, I would only be able to bask in that glory for a few short weeks.

What happened? The rest in my next post. Which will not be in six weeks. I am going to write it now.

By the way, I have the Jovani dress in my hands and am willing to part with it. If anyone is interested please message me.

.i tried on my dress.

Once the dress finally arrived, late Friday afternoon, I couldn’t wait to open the box. Luckily, I only had to wait one more hour at work and then the drive home. My goal was to hit the gym first, then go home and look at the dress, put it in the car and wait until I go to the dress store the next day to try it on. That lasted as long as my car ride home!

There was a traffic backup on the freeway, so I took my normal route home instead of going right to the gym. Yea, I know… as I am freaking out about the dress NOT fitting, I should have gone right to the gym and not passed go. I know. Wait- before even getting into my car, I opened the box to glance at the dress. It looked white. Stark white. Panic #1. I texted Ster and said “I don’t remember it being this white”. She texted back with “It’s not white”. Love Ster, she is always so to the point.

Ok, so I get home and try the dress on immediately. It was snug, that is not a lie. Here is the back story:

The same size was a 4. Yes, I know…cry a river because I fit into a 4. I ordered a 6 because it is what I normally wear and every bride, 10 months before their wedding, swears they will lose weight. Me—well I am diabetic and it can go either way. In this instance, I didn’t take into account that they would put me on more insulin and that any more weight gain would happen. So between ordering the dress and receiving the dress, I am up about 8 lbs. Not the end of the world, but to a bride it pretty much is! Especially when the dress had very little room when ordering it.

Back to slipping it on. It was snug, but I know that there are still seven months until the wedding. The dress needs minimal alterations so we are good to go there. I try it on, in my unflattering full length mirror and take an iPhone picture. Excitedly, I send this picture to my sister and my parents.

I stare at myself thinking about being a bride, walking down the aisle in this dress, etc. and then realize, it is time to hit the gym. While there, my phone rings, it shows that “Home” is calling. In my head, I knew that they were calling to comment on my dress. My mother had seen my dress the weekend before while it was still at my sister’s house, so in my head, I knew that she was calling to say how fabu the dress looked. Was I right?
No.

ME: Hello?
MOM: ……….. don’t you think that it is a little tight?”
ME: [enter sound of heart breaking and being crushed] Well yea, I gained some weight. I gotta go, I am at the gym. Bye.”

To say that this broke my heart a little is a true statement. I was crushed. My parents, et al know that I am very aware of my weight gain (yes, all 8 lbs of it) and that fitting into my dress was a concern of mine. So was this what I wanted to hear? No. She was “just being honest” because she IS my mother. I get it. But not what I needed. Is my vision of my dress mildly tarnished now? Slightly. But I don’t have the budget for a new dress so this will have to do. Anyone wish to join me at the gym?

.waiting for the dress to arrive.

So last Monday, Ster sent my dress out to me. Via UPS. Ground. Groan. She sent me the tracking number but for some reason, it wouldn’t register and I was unable to see any tracking information. For an entire week, it seemed like the dress was in Secaucus. Can you even begin to imagine my frustration and annoyance with this??

Well on Friday, after panicking… I had Ster track the dress and low and behold, it was delivered. PHEW! I had it shipped to my work so that it wasn’t sitting outside of my house waiting for me to get home. I could not wait to get the dress in my hands….

And here she is:

No. I am NOT going to show you the dress before the wedding.... :)))

.here comes the dress.

HOLY CRAPPPP!!! I just got the call that my dress is in! Final payment is due and pick up is available. Here is the sucky part- the dress is in NJ. Ster has to go and pick it up for me, pay for it and ship it to me. Lucky for me, she is still on maternity leave so she has time to go and get it. Let’s hope that she can go Tuesday, ship it and by this time next week, I should have my dress?

Now it is time to accessorize that beauty. I needed to see the dress again before buying anything because it needs to not conflict with the dress. Stay tuned and watch me accessorize. And wrap up the great shoe debate!

You will not see ANY pics of my dress until after the wedding, but I will show you what didn’t make the cut.

**Vera Wang**

**Elizabeth Fillmore**

**Kenneth Poole**

.checking things off of the list.

Whew! My, oh my…. Where have I been? Yikes! Well, I went on vacation, had my sister come out to visit me and just have not been able to catch up on blogging!

To update, my vacation was very productive, the following were accomplished:

1. My mother found an MOB dress, but just needs to order it. I wanted to go looking for dresses with her just to get an idea of what feels comfortable for her, what style looks good on her shape and what colors she likes. Well we more than accomplished that! Sweet… she lurves it, I lurve it and she is going to be one sassy MOB! No photos of this will post.

2. We found dresses for the Zillaz. Sort of. My sister, my niece and I trekked to several bridal stores in New Jersey. While Ster Zilla fed the lovely baby, I tried on the dresses! In all honesty… I think that I enjoy the dress shopping and trying experience so much that I offered to try them on! For S-Zilla and I to shop, we don’t mess around. In, put dress on, do you like –yes or no, circle one- ok, dress off and next. We fell in lurve with a matte jersey material from both Alfred Angelo and the Dessy Group. The matte jersey is light, flowy and comfy. So no fidgeting, no hugging or squeezing, these dresses should last comfortably all nite long! The Dessy dress is a wrap style that can be worn several ways. I like this idea the most because everyone can wear the dress in a style they like the most. For example, A-Zilla has awesome shoulders and upper body, so I pictured her wrapping to accentuate and I was right- she loves the one shoulder wrap. All we are doing is waiting for a sample to come into one store so that we can actually try that dress on and see how difficult (or easy, I hope) it is to wrap these dresses. I can only imagine us on the morning of trying to get this done and we end up Hollywood Taping everything together. Welcome to my world. The Zillaz lurved the dresses, too! That was most important. Wait, they said they lurved them…. Oh well. They truly can be re worn. The material can be dressed up for the wedding and worn with cute flats or strappy sandals and worn to brunch or church.

**NOTE: Another great wrap is is by twobirds bridesmaid...check it out. A little more expensive than the Dessy, but stunning.**

Dress by Alfred Angelo, Style 6588

Dress by The Dessy Group, Style Twist1

3. I bought a dress!!! YAYYYYYY! This is a HUGE relief. I haven’t quite yet posted all of dress debacle posts because I wasn’t sure how much attention I wanted to call to the negatives of dress shopping. Maybe I will forget all of that and just move forward. The dress is amazing, no, I won’t post photos. But it will knock your socks off! Now… I just have to get into a shape, something other than round. But don’t worry- I already started this process, I have a phone number to a trainer, who I will call while I gorge on Doritos. Ha-ha, take that healthy trainer lady! Just kidding…. My goal is to start a program around August or September. An actual training program, more than just my infrequent visits to the gym.

Here is a photo of a rejected dress... I have to be careful with what I post in case I change my mind! Ha!

4. We tasted our favors…. And sorry guests, there are none left for you! Just kidding. Spoiler Alert: I am going to talk about my wedding favors here. My dad makes wine as a hobby and it was only fitting to ask him to make wine for the wedding favors. He is making two flavors, which I will keep secret, and we were able to try one flavor and it was G-O-O-DDDDDDDD. YUM! I can’t wait for the guests to receive this favor and hopefully drink it. It is meaningful and made with love, for sure. We just need to commish Ellie Hey to do my labels. She has already agreed….so that part is checked off. We just need to come up with a design and a cute saying on the bottles so that everyone knows where they were made, etc. Any ideas? Please email them to me at TheNearlyweds@rocketmail.com

.ohhhh....what can it be hiding under than bag? the next step is to bottle and voila they are done.

.this is called a "wine thief" so that you can taste without contaminating the wine in progress.

.tasting the fruits of my dad's labor. yum is all i can say.

5. Save the Dates. Once again, the truly talented Ellie came through with a design that blew us away! I think that we went through only 3 revisions…but if you ask her, it was probably more like 33. Anyway, she sent us the approved design while we were in PA, sampling our favors. Blame it on the alcohol?? Anyway, they are two-sided, 5”x7” beauties. The personal information is blacked out, but this is what they look like:

They were printed on a glossy stock and we picked matching shadow grey envelopes. I am currently hand addressing them! UGH. My handwriting is mediocre, but I write faster than I think and have messed up three so far. Maybe the recipients of the STDs will become a shorter list and I continue writing. I can’t wait for them to be mailed, which means that I am finished with hand addressing envelopes.

**NOTE: We are only mailing to immediate family and far away friends (and bridal party!) so if you are a local friend…and don’t get one, you don’t necessarily have to be offended. We just speak to you on a regular basis and you know when the wedding will be and you should know if you will be invited or not!**

6. My insane checklist. I created a spreadsheet as my checklist. It is a crazillion tabs. Each tab is dedicated to a subject: Attire, Accessories, catering, Décor, DIY, Transportation, To Do, etc. It is helping to keep me organized, for now….

7. My binder. Is another out of control item. I am creating a secondary one for inspirational ideas since that is what is keeping my binder overflowing. And I guess that I can move the losing choices for a bridal gown and Zillaz dress to the older folder. I don’t want to get rid of anything because I think that in a few years I want to look back and see where my thoughts were and what I would have changed, etc.

So I leave you with this really long blog. We are just under 10 months now and the planning is going into full swing! We meet with our wedding planner today and I will be sure to blog again after that! Cheers!

.dress mess diaries, part 2.

This is Part 2 in a series of blogs about dress shopping.... this really should have been part 1. Oops.

Your dress. It becomes the focal point of any wedding and sets the tone for the entire event. Short, flowy cocktail dress equals a light, fun, casual affair. Cathedral length train, poufy skirt equals a more formal affair. The mothers shouldn’t even think about attire until you pick your dress. Bridesmaids? Nope, they have to wait too… it is all focused around the dress. It is no wonder we girls spends days, hours and up to thousands of dollars on The One. The dress becomes the new “The One”; your fiancé is no longer your number one “the one”. Ok, I don’t really mean that… but you know the feeling you had when you first realized that he was your “the one”….think, think….ok that is how you should feel in the dress.

I remember when I realized Flo was my “the one”… it was my birthday party, 2008. he stopped by my party before driving off to his birthday ski weekend. Yes, we almost share a birthday; his is a day before mine. I walked him out to his car and as I was smooching him and wishing him a great weekend it hit me. It hit me so hard that I almost said it out loud to him. Surely, it would have been forgiven… I had bottles of Perrier Jouet served at my party… Could you even imagine? We had been dating literally, a week…. Ask Flo this question and his answer will differ. He isn’t sure when it hit him, but as long as it hit him it is all good!

When dress shopping, I expected the same result- BAM! I am the ONE. THE dress. Here I am. Buy me. Unlike with finding the perfect man, finding the perfect dress is more of a challenge. One would think that living in Vegas would make for a more challenging obstacle in finding a man who fits, rather than a dress that fits.

I admit, I made a critical error when dress shopping. My heart fell in love with a dress before I ever had a dress budget. Oh and before I ever had an engagement ring. You see, one afternoon I was going to get fitted for a bridesmaid’s dress when curiosity got the best of me and convinced by friends and my lack of conscience, that it would be OK to try on dresses. I knew that my relationship was gliding down the path toward forever-dom, but still hadn’t been officially asked. And I am now paying the price, literally. It wasn’t what I pictured myself in. Ever. It wasn’t a halter, it wasn’t sheathy, and it was simply stunning. The dress spoke for itself. So did the price. Ouch. Let’s just say this: it was typical for a couture gown, I just wasn’t sure that I was ready for a couture wallet. I’m big on looking beautiful and feeling even more beautiful. What I am not big on is paying for that beauty. Unfortunately, no coupons will ever be accepted for this stunning gown.

I tried forgetting about it, but my fingers kept typing the designers name into google with a “comma sale” typed after it. My fingers even figured out how to type her name, sale into eBay! There it is! For a reasonable “BUY NOW!” price. The bustle on my dress came when my mom visited and I was proposed to and can now legally search for a dress. It was the last one I tried on for her. Adorned in the sample veil, the dressing room curtain peeled back, I lifted up my head, smiled and walked out onto the platform box. Grab the tissues because mom started to cry! Yup, tears. That must be a good sign. Tears never filled my eyes in this dress; just a breathless “wow” is all I could ever muster. Of course, I struck my best pose, head over the shoulder look in the mirror. Visualized myself with some fabulous shoes walking down the aisle. Visualized our first dance in this fabulous frock…I even pictured wearing it to a charity gala that Flo and I may one day attend when he takes over the world of weather in NYC. (that last part was all a dream.)

There was no way this dress could ever be knocked out of first place. Or could it? Fast forward to NYC, March 2009. I made some bridal appointments so that my mother, my sister and I could go into the City and try on some dresses. It was merely for the novelty- I had already found THE ONE and just wanted to give the three of us that experience of gown shopping, together. We walked into Kleinfeld and it was somewhat like buying a used vehicle. Or shopping at Target, except bigger, more elegant. Our sales phenom, Diane, pulled dresses as if she were my BFF for years—she ended pulling one that knocked miss first place off of her fitting pedestal. Price tag? Oh yea, it had one. It was even more than miss first place. Sigh.

.dress maybe not so a mess.

If today got any worse, I’m not sure what would be happening right now. It was just one of “those” days. The last wrong occurrence?? I lost my medicine bag. As a diabetic, having your medicine bag near you at all times is as important as turning off the iron, shutting off the stove and locking the door. It is habit. It is a necessity. If I am low, there are glucose tabs. If I am high, there is symlin. And when all else fails, there is a meter and poker to tell me where I fall. Would I rather leave my cell phone or medicine at home? Tough call, but I would rather say buh-bye to the cell phone. So my medicine bag is missing and I am hoping it is not at the gym, where I went to blow off some steam today. Fabulous workout but being alone with my thoughts for 30 minutes was less than beneficial.

Coming home meant at least one good thing- Flo would be there and he always makes me smile and laugh. He lets me cry, even if I am in the wrong and being a bitch. He listens to me whether he agrees with my stance or not. He lends an ear and a shoulder in a way that no one else can. I’m not for certain that he listens intently to my vents, but either way, it always makes me feel better to be in his company.

Today, there was a bonus moment of happy, happy joy, joy. I received my fabric samples from NY Fashion Center! YAY! In my hunt for THE DRESS, I ordered some fabric samples in color and texture that I’ve been desiring. And they arrived today. Two dress samples: same fabric, different colors. I showed the colors to Flo, he pointed to one, I pointed to the other. Nice. Hooray for the Groom-to-be having ZERO say in the Bride-to-be's dress. Whew!

And three samples of the wedding colors:

I’ve still been going back and forth between colors and uncertain if what we picked it what can work. Today, my vision was solidified. Flo and I absolutely love our color palette. Going back to how he makes my day… he actually cares about the fabrics and colors that arrive in our mail box. He doesn’t just agree with me to shut me up and appease me. He actually has an opinion. And I just fell in love with him a little bit more, just now.

What will I do with my samples? Well, touch them and love the fabric, for one. Then, I plan on taking them to every fabric store that I can visit and see if this particular fabric varies from store to store. I also plan on ordering more samples! Maybe….just maybe after the wedding, I will have enough samples to make a snazzy scarf?? Hmmmm….. and the conundrum begins.

.dress mess, part 1.

Dress shopping began ever before there was a ring on my finger. It was before we met with a jeweler and before I ever had a budget. I knew that couture/designer gowns were costly; thanks to the wedding websites who are kind enough to embark on the monetary journey by featuring dollar signs letting you know what to expect.

I didn’t expect to go and get measured for a bridesmaid dress and fall in love with Star. That is what I am calling her. Ivory charmeuse, corset bodice, curve hugging, gut sucking prettiness on a hanger. At first, the $$$$ price tag didn’t scare me- I wasn’t even formally engaged, there was plenty of time to save up! Well life I this thing that happens while you are busy making other plans and my saved up $$$ went out he door onto more important things. Star was the love of my bridal life until Jai came along at yet another alarming $$$$$ price tag. Jai is the one who put a twinkly tear in my eye. It was a few weeks later when I questioned those tears- was it because the dress was so perfect and so stunning or was it because it was a dress I’d never pay for? I am going to lean toward the latter and carry on.
After this experience and wrangling myself back into reality, I began to browse shops that seemed more attainable. I’ve been to five shops in Vegas and two in NYC. And still no dress. In each gorgeous gown, there is an element in which I fall in love. Whether it’s the material, the delicate detailing, the simplicity, the classic beauty of the dress, there is something.

Finding the right dress easily compares to finding the right man. You try on several, you think that you may have found “The One” but you keep looking and realize that the one still exists in a place you’ve never been. Each dress gets you closer to finding the one, just as each desperate date produced a similar result.

After 7 stores and at least 70 gowns later… I’ve tried on traditional…. Form fitting, lacey, sating, chiffony, and altogether different…. I am not where the journey began, yet 70 elements closer to finding the one.

.ps: none of these are the dress- or even close to the dress.