.the story behind the dress.

For as long as I've been blogging on this site, my wedding dress was a huge source of stress. I can finally, two months after the wedding, share all with you. Yes, I could have done this sooner, but I must say this-- the wedding wore me out. It seemed like recovery was nowhere in sight at times. But here I am, to recap everything from the wedding. Let's start with my dress.

When I started out, I didn't have a budget, but in my head, I knew that spending over $1,200 on a dress (and even that was pushing it) would eat me alive. But I still tried on Elizabeth Filmore, Amy Michaelson, Vera Wang and more. They all look maaaahhhvelous. And I loved the silk charmeuse on my skin. So at one point, I went to a seamstress and took her this love of my then bride-to-be life. It is Taj Mahal by Amy Michelson. It retailed for about $3,800 at Kleinfelds. Which, by the way, shopping there is ground for a whole other blog.

Here is the dress, courtesy of AmyMichelson.com



Gorgeous, huh? After trying on this gem, of which there are no photos courtesy of Kleinfeld's rules, which we respected, I needed a sexy back dress. I wanted to hear my guests gasp after I passed them while walking down the aisle. But I refused to pay that much. It was a new dress, from the fall 2009 line, so there weren't any for sale. I also found some from Winnie Couture that had the open back and they came in my price range, around $1,200.


This is the Winne Couture "Giada" dress. I wasn't able to try it on, the only store in Vegas who carried the line wouldn't order a sample. Silly, because I probably would have bought it. So...at this point we moved on.

Come June, my sister, my six-week-old niece and I went dress shopping. Again. We turned up at a little shack-on-the-road called Tina's Bridal in Totowa, NJ. When we pulled up, I almost told her to turn around, it was that much of a shack looking place. But we went in, smart move. What I would like to say most about Tina's is that we had an appointment to look at bridesmaids dresses, but when I asked if I could see their bridal gowns, they didn't even bat an eyelash and 100 percent accommodated us. And in the end, I bought a dress there.

I wasn't looking for poofy, I didn't want any skirt underneath and then I came across two gems there. One was a "Destination" label by.... I don't even remember. Darn. This was the dress. Of course, I wanted to open the back and make some adjustments to it....




Then, there was this beauty by Jovani. I had to slide into and hold my breath. However, wearing it on my wedding was of no concern. I was the thinnest I had pretty much ever been, with no intent on gaining weight, so I was good to go in this looker. I loved the back and how vintage it looked. I pictured a glamorous walk down the aisle, posing for photos with my chin just coming over my shoulder. And my body? It would be bangin'! It was June and I had 10 months to firm up and rock this dress. Apparently, my pancreas had other plans in the weeks to come.




This is what it is supposed to look like on the model who needs to be fed a steak.


So there you have it, my dress loves.... I went from loving a $3,800 gown to not being able to try on a $1,200 gown to deciding between a $400 and a $350 gown. I ended up buying the Jovani gown.... we had it ordered in a size bigger than the sample shown in the above photos. As you can tell, it was a bit snug. I was thrilled to buy my wedding dress in a size six. As someone who battled weight my whole life, this was a huge accomplishment. However, I would only be able to bask in that glory for a few short weeks.

What happened? The rest in my next post. Which will not be in six weeks. I am going to write it now.

By the way, I have the Jovani dress in my hands and am willing to part with it. If anyone is interested please message me.

.cheers and jeers.

Whew…. There are things that you know about wedding planning via checklists in all of the magazines, advice from your friends, shows on WeTV and more. What no one tells you is that you will want to elope several times. You will reconsider every decision you ever made. Your fiancé will drive you nuts about something minor like the font of a DIY sign. You will have high blood sugar from cake tastings. Friends will be offended that they aren’t in your wedding or providing you a wedding service. Everyone will offer a piece of unsolicited advice to you. People will let you down, you will let yourself down. You will re-reconsider your choices, again. Your other will hurt your feelings; your future mother-in-law will hurt your feelings. You will hurt someone’s feelings. Your bridesmaids will drive each other crazy. They will drive you a little bit crazy and forget to order their dress.

There isn’t a guide or magazine to help you deal with these things. It is called life. Life teaches you how to handle setbacks and disappointments.

I think of this today when I look at my phone and realized that not one friend texted me today. What is so bad about that? Well, today is the annual HUGE food festival in Las Vegas. An event that I haven’t missed in years! My dear M-Zilla works for the title sponsor and is at this event every year, all day long. Up until I got lazy, I was looking forward to finding her and having a drink and some eats with her. This was one of the first places that I met her- when I was just a mere fan of hers. Since then our relationship has grown into something special enough for her to be standing up with me at our wedding. We’ve been all of the above to each other and in the end; it has made our friendship grow into what it is now! Too bad i am lazy.... but it is also 90* and parking is a biotch there. And I had a cake tasting today and my sugar is high. Shocking.

But today, none of my usual suspects ever reached out to see if flo and I were going to this Festival. And why it bothers me is because I am generally the planner. K-Zilla and I are usually the planners. Last year I was at this festival with a group of 10-15 friends. K-Zilla waas not one of them because, as diabetics, this is a difficult place to watch ourselves! She has already informed me that she will pass this year too. And today, not-a-one messages or texted to see if we were going. Some of these friends pull the “I never see you anymore” woe-is-me with me and this makes me question why?? Is it because they rely on me/us to plan and keep us together or is it because they generally could give a crap less and just sit back and wait for me to take action.

In my world of being a bride, a blogger, an aunt, a fiancé, a daughter, an employee, a friend and a diabetic, being the planner is an added stress to my life.

Cheers to those who I can connect with here and there all randomly and then it feels like we saw each other yesty! Cheers to those who are on the guest list because they care and they genuinely keep in touch and ask about me- not just the wedding but how I am. Jeers to those who don’t. We may just have to reevaluate our guest list. Again.

It just goes to show you that in this world, you have yourself. I am blessed enough to have myself, my family and friends who are my family. Remember to put your wedding & wedding planning in perspective—life is short, enjoy the moments. Don’t sweat the small stuff.

.bridal body in the making.

It is neither a secret nor a wonder that I've been feeling rather blah since trying on the dress. The dress trying on comes with some funny outtakes too, which need to be posted. Anyway, to kick start the bridal body into motion, we started Phase 1 of the South Beach Diet. Yesterday was Day #1.

Three summers ago, I did this "diet" with great success, but it was HARD, and still is. Matter of fact, I am already dying for a glass of wine. I won't try to educate you here about the diet, you can read up on it. It actually is a little variance from the way that, as a diabetic, I should be eating.

In order to not be wasteful, I took my Omnipod off and went back to good ol' insulin pens. Yesterday, I took about 4 unites of insulin, compared to my normal of 15-20. My concern with that is going back on the pod, if it will just put weight on again.

Being a diabetic bride is not good times!! I was really digging my cute little bod that I had in January when I ran through the snow in tube socks and a bikini in Big Bear. No, no photos of that will be posted, but thanks for asking.

So onto day #2 we go! We both finished day #1 with flying colors.... let's see how the next 13 go!

Our goal is to turn this into a lifestyle change. Will there still be nites when we have smores for dessert? Yes. Nachos for dinner? Of course, it IS football season. Are there nites where I will have three glasses of wine instead of one? Yes- have you seen my life?! I need it.

I will update you after five days on how many pounds we've dropped. So stay tuned for that post to come Tuesday AM.

Be healthy.

.i tried on my dress.

Once the dress finally arrived, late Friday afternoon, I couldn’t wait to open the box. Luckily, I only had to wait one more hour at work and then the drive home. My goal was to hit the gym first, then go home and look at the dress, put it in the car and wait until I go to the dress store the next day to try it on. That lasted as long as my car ride home!

There was a traffic backup on the freeway, so I took my normal route home instead of going right to the gym. Yea, I know… as I am freaking out about the dress NOT fitting, I should have gone right to the gym and not passed go. I know. Wait- before even getting into my car, I opened the box to glance at the dress. It looked white. Stark white. Panic #1. I texted Ster and said “I don’t remember it being this white”. She texted back with “It’s not white”. Love Ster, she is always so to the point.

Ok, so I get home and try the dress on immediately. It was snug, that is not a lie. Here is the back story:

The same size was a 4. Yes, I know…cry a river because I fit into a 4. I ordered a 6 because it is what I normally wear and every bride, 10 months before their wedding, swears they will lose weight. Me—well I am diabetic and it can go either way. In this instance, I didn’t take into account that they would put me on more insulin and that any more weight gain would happen. So between ordering the dress and receiving the dress, I am up about 8 lbs. Not the end of the world, but to a bride it pretty much is! Especially when the dress had very little room when ordering it.

Back to slipping it on. It was snug, but I know that there are still seven months until the wedding. The dress needs minimal alterations so we are good to go there. I try it on, in my unflattering full length mirror and take an iPhone picture. Excitedly, I send this picture to my sister and my parents.

I stare at myself thinking about being a bride, walking down the aisle in this dress, etc. and then realize, it is time to hit the gym. While there, my phone rings, it shows that “Home” is calling. In my head, I knew that they were calling to comment on my dress. My mother had seen my dress the weekend before while it was still at my sister’s house, so in my head, I knew that she was calling to say how fabu the dress looked. Was I right?
No.

ME: Hello?
MOM: ……….. don’t you think that it is a little tight?”
ME: [enter sound of heart breaking and being crushed] Well yea, I gained some weight. I gotta go, I am at the gym. Bye.”

To say that this broke my heart a little is a true statement. I was crushed. My parents, et al know that I am very aware of my weight gain (yes, all 8 lbs of it) and that fitting into my dress was a concern of mine. So was this what I wanted to hear? No. She was “just being honest” because she IS my mother. I get it. But not what I needed. Is my vision of my dress mildly tarnished now? Slightly. But I don’t have the budget for a new dress so this will have to do. Anyone wish to join me at the gym?

I can’t wait to stop being a bride and just be a wife. Although wedding planning isnt’ new to me and being a bride isn’t a brand new concept, this wedding “stuff” is overwhelming at times. Not because I am high maintenance or because I am indecisive. But when you work, have a life, write for a magazine and four blogs, oh and have to manage an illness, it gets to be all consuming.

Right now, when I look at my work schedule, my life schedule and my wedding calendar, I am so overwhelmed that I just want to curl up and elope. There are times when I feel so untraditional that I don’t belong on wedding forum sites. There are times when I feel like too many women place too much importance on the little things… this is one of those weeks.

I will update my checklist and provide an update of where we are and where we need to go…. When will this happen? Good question!

The count down is on…. Just over seven months to go.

The Staycation

Ahhhh…. Ok, so I’ve been slacking on the blogging in a serious manner. It is unacceptable, I concur. However, I took the weekend off for a “staycation” and have yet to recover. On this staycation, I had high hopes of sitting by a pool, sipping wine and writing like a fiend. I sat by the pool (in sweats) and sipped wine (from a paper cup) and wrote nothing.

{my foot. at the pool}


Even though I failed my personal goals, the staycation was fabulous! Rarely do Flo and I get one day off together, yet alone two days in a row. So we did what we do really well and that is drive out to Lake Las Vegas and spend the weekend at Loew’s Resort. Since July of ’08 it has become our haven. Our getaway. Our home tropical vacation right in our own backyard. It is one of the two places in Las Vegas where you can go and truly feel like you are not in Vegas anymore. Friday after work, I fought afternoon commuter traffic and headed out to our haven. We have a favorite floor on which we like to stay; we now have a favorite room on that floor. Open air patio. Room service. I could get used to that. Being away without being too far away was relaxing, detoxing and just plain old good time fun!

{the view from loew's}














On Easter Sunday, Flo and I volunteered for the JDRF’s Easter egg hunt! It was insanity at it’s finest, but a complaint would only devalue the importance of the event. Entry was $3 per child aged 0-10, the JDRF was able to keep $1.50 of each entry fee. The JDRF earned about $2,800 from this four hour event! Thanks to everyone who turned out on that beautiful day and thank you for getting us $2,800 closer to a cure.

Ok, yes, this is a wedding blog, not a “this is what I did this past weekend” blog…” Loew’s has amazing wedding facilities and if you are in the market for a venue to knock the dancing shows off of your guests, you may just want to check it out. For how much we adore the place, it is a shame we aren’t getting married there! Not that my current venues won’t or don’t work… but I can’t help but still fantasize about it. Is it awful to change your venues? Or want to change your venues? When guests come to Las Vegas, do they want to be on The Strip? Close to the action? Is it awful to have your wedding on the outskirts of Vegas? Kind of like the itch on your back that you just can’t reach? Almost. Got. It. Right. There. D’oh. I feel like this location is perfect marriage between Vegas and Heaven. Flo and I need to research this a little more in depth since it is a place that actually means something to us. Caesars means something to me, not us, but it is gorgeous also. Conundrum #1.

If you need any information on Loew’s or Lake Las Vegas, reach out to me and I will be happy to pass it along!

Back to planning… here is my conundrum #2: Is it too early to plan anything?? We are 53 weeks + 1 day away from the “BIG DAY” and for some reason, I just can’t get into planning. I am doing more than my share of researching, browsing, right clicking and saving images, but I can’t bring myself to meet a vendor or make a decision. Matter of fact, I still look at paint swatches and wonder if my color palette is settled yet. I know that time flies- believe me, as I just woke up one day and poof! I was 31 and engaged! I digress… In six short weeks, my next “vacation” is here and by the time I return from that we will be about 10 months out from the wedding. That feels like the perfect time to actually begin planning.

Lately, I’ve noticed that most engagements are ranging from 6-11 months. Flo and I are going to hit almost 17. Sounds like an eternity these days but enjoying the engagement has actually been quite memorable. No rush, no stress, enough time to save money and wow, look, we are already 53 weeks + 1 day away from our anniversary to be. Our “Minus One”, is what I am calling it. When your engagement is less than one year away, you don’t get to celebrate and enjoy the day that will one day be your wedding anniversary. So this year, on April 24th, we are going to clink glasses and says cheers to the Mr. & Mrs. Flo-To-Be. It’s actually my Mystery Date month… what shall I plan for us…..